


Synergy

by citrus_tree



Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Mention of Past Sexual Assault, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, combat mission, first published fanfic, no beta we die like men, smut in chap 8
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:08:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23522830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrus_tree/pseuds/citrus_tree
Summary: Ying and Fuze have had a strained relationship, but they keep getting paired for missions due to how well their gadgets work together. They both attempt to get over their differences and realize there's something more under the surface of their working relationship.
Relationships: Shuhrat "Fuze" Kessikbayev/Siu "Ying" Mei Lin
Comments: 9
Kudos: 63





	1. Apologies

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first published work after writing for about 5 years, the formatting may be a bit wonky so i apologize for that.

“Let there be light.” 

A candela was placed up above a known bomb site, it released it’s charges into the room below, followed by the sounds of screaming and other comotion. Ying looked up to give the signal to her partner, a large man clad in green who also placed his device above the site. Without saying anything he pressed the trigger for his cluster bomb launcher. The commotion below was replaced with explosions and meaty thuds. But before any sort of celebration could be had, bullets flew past, shot from right under Ying. The shots barely missed, but they caused her to jump up. Fuze reacted much differently, he pointed his pistol at the ground and shot 4 times. Another meaty thud followed by silence. 

Ying coughed, unsettled by his reaction, but it was hard to tell exactly what the man was thinking due to his face being completely hidden from her. In a swift motion she placed a breach charge on the ground and stepped back, Fuze copying her. The trigger was pressed and the floor blew out from under them. Her partner opted to jump first without saying a word, his boots hitting the floor under them with a loud thud. Ying was more careful, she dangled from the hole before landing swiftly and quietly on her feet. 

“Place the diffuser and let’s get out of here.” Fuze told her before aiming his gun directly at the doorway, just in case any White Masks were lingering inside of the building. 

Ying complied, setting down the device and typing a few commands, after she finished with the defuser the lights on the bomb went out. Everything mechanical seemed to stop working on the device, rendering it useless. 

“We’re done. Preparing for extraction.” Ying said into her mouthpiece. It came to life in her ear with the helicopter pilot's voice “Alright.” 

The operator turned to her partner, who relaxed his grip on the gun and stood up. Fuze turned to her and motioned for her to follow. The building was devoid of life now, including the two operators that inhabited the space. An awkward silence fell over the both of them as they made their way back up to the roof of the old warehouse. When Ying went on missions with other members of Rainbow she would usually talk with them, asking how they felt and what they were going to do once they returned to their base. But she couldn’t have that atmosphere with Fuze. He never started conversations, just listened in. And the relationship the two had was strained at best. Yes, their gadgets worked well together, but their personalities did not. Ying’s comforting personality grated with the stand-offish personality Fuze had. It also didn’t help that their methods didn’t line up either. Ying had snapped at Fuze when they first met back in 2004, she called him a civilian killer and told him he had a disregard for innocent lives. The altercations even got physical, with the smaller woman punching the man in the chest, forgetting he wore a bulletproof vest under his green garb. The two had never truly gotten over the fight, mostly due to Fuze straight up refusing to talk to her, or anybody else for that matter. His sentences were always short and choppy, and he never spoke more than what was needed. Compared to Ying’s constant chattering the both of them constantly seemed to be at a conversational standstill.

Even when boarding the helicopter Fuze remained silent, his head turned to the woman sitting in front of him. She couldn’t wait to get back to base and have a true human interaction.

When the two returned they were met by rain and the Spetsnaz, Fuze’s group of friends. Ying grumbled. Her walk back to the barracks would have her squished between four Russian men who’s sleep schedules seemed to be as screwy as their personalities. The largest, Tachanka, patted Ying on the back and led her with them. “How was the mission  _ kitayskaya devushka (china girl)? _ ” 

She smiled at the older man not understanding what he called her, but still allowing herself to be polite. “It went fine, thank you for asking. Why did you guys come out to meet us?” 

A scoff came from Kapkan, “We wanted to make sure you and Fuze didn’t kill each other. Since you two don’t have the best relationship.” 

Laughs rang out from the Russians, including Fuze. Beneath her smile Ying was seething. So the strained relationship with Fuze was a joke? They didn’t understand that his disregard for civilians was bad? It baffled her, but she figured it must be a cultural thing or whatever. She fell into silence as the four men spoke in russian to each other, Fuze even joining in on the conversation. Ying felt trapped, she couldn’t walk ahead because Tachanka still had an arm around her shoulder, keeping her in line with the men who joked about who knew what in their mother tongue. She did pick out her nickname,  _ kitayskaya devushka  _ multiple times from the conversation, so they were definitely talking about her. 

The door was held open for her as they entered the building. It was finally time for Ying to separate from the group and get out of the rain. 

“I’ll be going to bed now. You all should do the same thing! It’s late.” Kapkan and Tachanka waved her off as Fuze and Glaz continued without even glancing back. She decided to do the same thing. 

  
  


Mei Lin sat at the cafeteria table in front of Grace and Tina. The 3 women had a weekly get together watching dramas Grace pirated, and they needed to decide a date. But the conversation about when the women were available quickly turned when Mei Lin mentioned the mission she had been on the night before. 

“Oh you went with Shuhrat last night didn’t you?” Grace asked, clearly knowing the answer. 

“Yes. We did a mission together and it worked out fine.” Mei Lin replied, clearly strained. 

“Did he even talk to you? He never talks to me or the others when we go on attack missions. I mean, the guy just does what he wants!” Grace exclaimed, the volume of her voice causing Tina to hush her. 

Mei Lin sighed again, “No. I think he said about 10 words to me the whole time.” 

“Oh wow. That sucks.” Grace mumbled into her oatmeal. Tina agreed by shaking her head. 

“It does, but some people are just naturally quiet. Don’t take it too personally.” Mei Lin swallowed the food in her mouth and pointed her spoon directly at Tina. 

“It is personal. We don’t have a good relationship and it’s bothering me.”

“Why? Because you freaked out on him like, once? Why don’t you apologize, you'll feel better.” The Canadian retorted. Causing Grace to make an ‘O’ with her mouth. “Oooo, what happened?” She asked, leaning closer to Mei Lin, who made a disgusted face. 

“When we met for the first time in 2004 I yelled at him for putting a hostage in danger. I even tried to punch him. It was… embarrassing.” Her voice trailed off in the end, but the damage was done. 

Grace stifled a laugh. “Mei Lin you’re so nice! I can’t believe you yelled at someone. But that was so long ago, you can totally apologize now!” Another nod from Tina almost made Mei Lin want to yell again, but she refrained.

“It’s hard to apologize to someone you never see outside of missions and training, and he lives on the other sides of the barracks!”

“Excuses, excuses. Mei Lin you’re better than this.” Tina scolded using the tone of a knowing mother. Grace laughed out loud this time, gaining the attention of some of the other operators in the room. 

Now Mei Lin’s face was bright red, but she knew her friends were right. Apologizing would make her feel better. But finding a way to apologize would be hard, she would have to wait for the right moment, because there was no way in hell Mei Lin was going to go out of her way to see Fuze. 

Ying stood beside Warden, the two of them stood in front of a group of recruits. This was the afternoon flashbang and smoke training, and the people teaching it were the only two operators with an immunity to flash and smoke respectively. Warden stood tall above the crowd of young men, while Ying felt a bit awkward in her newfound authority. 

The training would include Ying tossing candelas and smokes into a hallway and different rooms, as Warden would instruct. Simple sounding, but difficult in execution. Warden was tough to work with, his ego was the size of the moon and she could tell that these recruits didn’t take her very seriously. 

“Ok guys! Listen up. We’ll head into the base and my friend Ying here will try and flash us out. What I want you guys to do is try and avoid being flashed or smoked out. I’ll be grading your performance individually and as a group. Sounds good?” 

The recruits ‘Yessir’d’ and followed Warden into the building. Ying watched as they disappeared, now it was her turn to cram herself into a weird corner or window in order to catch the men off guard. 

Warden updated her on their location and the woman sprung into action. Smokes came first, she tossed 2 through a broken window into a hallway. Then she entered through the top floor and tossed smokes above the men. Warden’s instructions rang clearly through the building, giving Ying a good idea of where they were at all times, without Warden using his earpiece. After a few hours of taunting recruits, it was time for flashbangs. Ying’s candelas were perfect for this exercise and she was more than ready to use them again. She mounted one on a soft floor and twisted the device. Waiting for that satisfying clicking noise. It didn’t come. 

“Hey Ying? You’re supposed to be flashing us.” Warden’s voice sounded in her ear. 

“I know, I’m having some technical difficulties with this one. Let me try again.” She did the same thing with another device, but still had no reaction. She then tried another method, rolling the device into a room. That one didn’t work either. She groaned. Thankfully Ying had basic flashes just in case. And continued the mission with those. 

“Warden I think my candelas are busted.” She mumbled into her mouthpiece. “I’m using normal flashes. So don’t worry about the training.” And affirmative grunt from the other end meant that she wasn’t in any trouble. But the sheer annoyance of her candelas not working was enough to put Ying in a sour mood. It would be nighttime when they finished, and she probably wouldn’t be able to make it into the workshop by the time they’re done. More grumbling poured from her mouth as she tossed flash after flash. Smoke after smoke. It wasn’t very fun anymore.

When the training was completed Ying met up with Warden and his group again. “Alright, good job men. You can go back now.” Warden shooed the recruits off and turned to a dejected Ying, who was tired and clearly not having it. 

“I bet ya Jager can look at those things and fix them.” He pointed out.

Ying took her glasses off and shook her head.“He’s on a mission. If I’m lucky Twitch will be in there and she can help me.”

Warden just shrugged “I’m not too good with those sort of gizmos. So I won’t be much of a help. Head back before me alright? I’ll see you later.” Now he was shooing her away. Which didn’t bother her much, she didn’t need her mood to get worse.

After changing into an old t-shirt and sweatpants, Mei Lin made her way to the workshop. The base was quiet due to everyone either being on a mission or eating dinner. The door was closed, but a soft blue light could be seen through the crack. She sighed and thanked god that someone was in there to help her. Mei Lin opened the door gingerly and half expected to see Emmanuelle sitting at the bench, working on a drone. Though instead of a french woman, she saw a man she didn’t recognize. 

His black hair was pulled back by a bandanna and his dark eyes were focused on a gadget that closely resembled Fuze’s. He turned to look at her and his eyes widened. Mei Lin was frozen. Shuhrat sat there in front of her working on his Martsyokas, he was completely devoid of any military gear, finally revealing his face to her. His skin was tanned and his arms were covered in a thin layer of dark hair. Despite the large body and scars, his face was clean shaven and soft, almost boyish in nature. 

“I’m sorry for intruding.” Mei Lin immediately blurted out. 

Shuhrat just looked her up and down “Why are you in here?” He asked, his voice as gruff as it was under the mask he wore.

She clearly wasn’t welcome. “My candelas, they stopped working during training. I think they might’ve gotten wet that night we came back.” Her tone was sad as she looked down on the little devices she loved so much.

Mei Lin prepared to be ushered out of the room, but instead Shuhrat offered the stool next to him by patting it a few times. She closed the door behind her and sat next to him, unsure of what to do. 

“I can look at them. If they’re waterlogged I can try and replace some parts.” 

He watched as Mei Lin placed the candelas on the table for Shuhrat to dissect. She refused to leave the candelas alone though, because she wanted to see just how he fixed them. 

“I didn’t expect you to be in here at this time.” Mei Lin said, attempting to dispel the awkward atmosphere. 

“I came because Jager and Twitch are busy. I don’t like having company.” He replied without looking at her. 

A strained laugh slipped through the woman’s lips. “Yeah… I can relate to that.” She glanced at his hands as they worked on her gadget with expert precision.

A voice appeared in her head as she sat idly. It was Tina’s. ‘Apologize to him.’ The canadian’s voice rang through her head. It was the perfect time wasn’t it? They were both alone, he was unmasked and she could speak her mind. 

Mei Lin opened her mouth to speak but was cut off. “Siu Mei Lin. Right? Remember what happened back in ‘04?” Shuhrat asked, causing Mei Lin’s eyes to widen. 

“Yes. I was actually going to apologize for what I said to you back then. After working with you I realized how stupid I was.” Her voice was filled with regret.

“I was actually going to apologize to you. I know I can be… harsh. But I thought over my methods after that fight. I think you caused me to rethink my hostage situations.” The sudden confession caused Mei Lin to go into shunned silence. 

“Well, I’m glad you don’t hold any hard feelings for me after all these years.” 

Shuhrat shook his head. “I don’t, I just have a hard time getting my feelings across. Now shut up and let me work on this. You can sit there if you want.” 

Mei Lin nodded, feeling relieved that he had forgiven her. The silence wasn’t so awkward now, instead it seemed comfortable. After watching Shuhrat work diligently for a bit, Mei Lin realized just how tired she was and decided to lay her head on the table and close her eyes for a quick rest. The last thing she saw before falling asleep was his rough hands working carefully on her little pride and joy. 

  
  
  



	2. Walk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuhrat walks Mei Lin back to her room and they get to talk for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is a bit shorter than the first, but it's more of a transitional chapter.

At first Shuhrat felt uncomfortable in Mei Lin’s presence. But after she accepted what he had said to her and fell into silence he started to think about what had led up to this very moment. The moment where he realized she felt comfortable enough to sleep next to him as he worked. The two met each other on a mission back in Moscow in 2004. He was only 22 at the time, still new to the Spetsnaz and even more inexperienced with working with international operatives. 

Training for high profile hostage situations had been going on, and it was the first time for him to try out the Martsyokas, or cluster charges. Excitement filled every fiber of his being before he detonated the charge. But after the explosions rang out people began to scream, including the hostage standee. After the extraction Shuhrat saw the damage his Martsyokas were capable of, and instead of stepping back and realizing he had put the life of multiple people in danger he felt excited about the prospects of his device. A small woman stormed up to him. She was very mad at him for being reckless and putting the hostage in danger. In her rage she threw a punch, and was quickly dragged off by a red-headed American while still hissing and spitting. Only afterwards Shuhrat found out the woman was Mei Lin, a recruit from Hong Kong that was working with several international military operatives. She was apparently like him. Very smart and new, blinded by emotions. It was relatable to him. After that mission he began thinking over hostage situations, even planning some out on paper. The overall design of his Martsyokas were changed to comply with the complaints he had gotten from her that day. And here Shuhrat was. Sitting next to the woman who changed how he thought about his future. 

It didn’t feel as profound as he imagined it. In Shuhrat’s mind he imagined their conversation about the past to be full of resentments because his mental image of Mei Lin was of a hotheaded woman who despised his every move. She defied that. Mei Lin was always smiling at others, and seemed to have a talent for relating to the problems of others. Something must’ve changed in her since all those years. And he wanted to know exactly what. 

The candela’s have been done for a good while, but Shuhrat couldn’t bring himself to wake the sleeping woman up. She was nuzzled in her own arms, her mouth slightly agape with saliva beginning to drip out the side. But he knew if she slept here all night her neck and back would kill her in the morning. The more uncaring side of him told him to leave her here, but the rational side moved his arm to shake her shoulder. Mei Lin stirred and rose from her nap, hazy dark eyes meeting his own. 

“What time is it?” She asked him. 

“Late.” He replied, standing up and offering a hand to help her rise from the stool. 

She took it, and he noted just how much bigger his hand was compared to hers. The moment was fleeting, Mei Lin raised her arms over her head and bent her back to stretch, causing a crack to resonate from her back. Shuhrat scoffed. Which in turn made Mei Lin blush. 

“Don’t laugh at me, I’m tired.” She narrowed her eyes at him before turning towards the door. In a very uncharacteristic moment Shuhrat stopped her 

“Let me walk you back to your room, you don’t want to fall asleep on the way there.” 

She shrugged and opened the door. “Sure, after you.” 

For a second Shuhrat was surprised, but then again, he did tell her he was walking her back. The door shut behind them and they made their way to the other side of the building. 

“You know, I feel so much better after finally speaking to you.” Mei Lin admitted. 

Shuhrat agreed. “Yes, I felt like speaking to you could help us work better together.”

She hummed in response. “Now I can boast about finally being able to get along with everybody in Rainbow.” A smile spread across her face, which in turned made Shuhrat crack the smallest of grins. 

This Mei Lin was much more inviting than the one he created in his head. Maybe it was for the best, since his first imaginary Mei Lin was based off of the one time they interacted. 

“You’re actually nice to be around. Unlike some of our other co-workers.” He mumbled, just in case anybody other than her was listening in. 

A loud laugh broke free from Mei Lin. “Like you?” She teased, hitting his chest. 

“Like me.” He replied, which just made her laugh more. 

A small sense of accomplishment washed over him, just a few hours ago they were on very harsh terms, but now she had opened up to him and was happily joking around. All because they just talked to each other. It was nice. Having friends outside of the Spetsnaz could be good for him, but he was never going to admit that.

The two neared her wing of the barracks and she stopped him. “Here’s my room. Wait for a minute, I’ll give you my phone number.” 

And with that Mei Lin disappeared into her room and emerged holding her phone, clad in a pastel blue case. Shuhrat took his own phone out of his pocket and they swapped phones in order to put their numbers in. This was weird to him, he had never done this with someone. They all had phones they used for work, but this was his first time giving his personal number to a co-working outside of Spetsnaz. 

“I already have your work number, but I’d rather use my personal phone for personal matters you know?” She said, taking the thoughts right out of his head and turning them to words. 

“I’m more likely to look at my personal phone anyway.” He told her, placing his phone back into his pocket. 

Mei Lin nodded, “Same here. Anyway I should get to bed, I have some shooting range stuff to do in the afternoon.” And with that, it was time for Shuhrat to leave. He waved at her as she closed the door and started the trek back to his room. 

When he got back he immediately took his day clothes off and changed into his sleep pants. But before he could crawl into bed, his phone lit up with a message from Mei Lin reading:

‘ _ Hey, thank u for helping with my babies (LOL) sorry for falling asleep, I'll ask how u fixed them tomorrow or something. Good night!!’ _

Followed by an image of an animated bear snoring. Unknowingly Shuhrat cracked a smile before replying to her with a simple

‘ _ sleep well )’ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apparently instead of ':)' russians just use a single bracket like this ')' and i think that's cute


	3. Nighttime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Late night conversations lead to Shuhrat realizing something

The following week was busy. Work caught up with everyone in Rainbow and everyone was always doing something. Mei Lin found herself taking a hand to hand training course with Taina Pereira, who always went by her alias - Caveria. Caveria was harsh and worked her students to the bone, causing Mei Lin to finish training every day with a throbbing headache and bruises all over her body. Even having dinner was a pain, because it was usually squished between two different types of training. So it was much easier for her to just make noodles late at night in the kitchen. And that’s where Mei Lin found herself, in the cafeteria kitchen late at night joined by Liu Tze Long, her fellow operator from Hong Kong, who would sometimes go out of his way to hang out with Mei Lin. The two would take the time to speak to each other in cantonese, which made them both feel more at home. 

Tze Long even went out of his way to find an asian market to buy food for Mei Lin, who often complained about the rather bland British cooking she was subjected to while eating at normal times. “You’re too nice to me sometimes.” Mei Lin said to him while pouring the boiling water into the cup of noodles. 

Tze Long just scoffed and watched as Mei Lin poured the water into his own cup. “I do this because you’re a friend.” 

He handed her a set of chopsticks and she accepted, setting the timer on her phone for the noodles. Tze Long noticed she had multiple text notifications and pointed it out. “Who are you texting so late at night?” 

Mei Lin quickly retracted her phone, holding the screen to her chest. “Why do you want to know?” Her tone was harsh, causing Tze Long to recoil. 

“Is it a boy?” He asked, leaning forward. The question was a joke, but Mei Lin’s blush made him believe he was correct. If he probed more she would definitely snap at him, so he backed off. But to his surprise, she seemed to soften up. 

“It is, and I have a question to ask you.” Mei Lin’s voice was very quiet, as if she was afraid to ask. Tze Long was used to her asking for advice, he had gotten used to it after her year long stint with the Japanese operator Echo. He had always been a shoulder to cry on, both figuratively and literally. Despite not being the expert she thought he was. 

“I’ve actually been talking with Fuze, one of the Russian operators. We’re on a first name basis now! But it’s strange that I feel embarrassed about our friendship. Is it?” Tze Long blinked, barely remembering the fight she had with Fuze a long time ago. “You two don’t get along? Right?”

“No! Well. We used to. We talked it out and are now forming a little friendship, mostly because Six loves putting us together. And he fixed my candelas.” 

“So you like him.” 

“Yes. We’re friends.”

Tze Long laughed. “Then don’t feel embarrassed about forming a friendship with someone! You overthink things Mei Lin.” 

Before Mei Lin could say anything in response the phone timer went off, signaling that the noodles were ready to eat. The conversation was dropped for the time being as they ripped into the packets of sauce, mixing the spices with their meal. “It’s hard to just tell people ‘Oh! This guy you thought I hated is now my best friend!’” Mei Lin said in between slurps. 

With a curt nod Tze Long agreed. “I understand where you’re coming from, but it really doesn’t matter what others think. Just allow your relationships to grow.” And after that statement they ate in silence, Mei Lin mostly agreeing with what he had to say. When she sat her cup down she smiled at her friend. Their relationship had always been close, like family. Maybe because Tze Long was over 10 years older than her, and he immediately took the younger woman under his wing. He finished the food after her and threw their trash away. “You know, if you two begin to fight again, tell me. I’m always testing out new poisons.” With a wink he dug a toothpick out of his pocket and waited for Mei Lin to follow him out the door. 

“That will _not_ happen. Trust me.” 

With a shrug Lesion began walking her to the dorms, “I know it won’t. It’s hard to stay mad at you.” 

She nodded, “I hope.”

  
  


Shuhrat found himself standing outside of Mei Lin’s dorm with the schematics for her candelas in his hand. He knew she was asleep this late at night. But instead of just dropping off the paper he stood outside of Mei Lin’s door, debating whether or not to slide the paper under it and leave, or wait for a bit longer just to see if he had the courage to knock on the door. It was almost embarrassing to him. The want to speak to Mei Lin in person was very strong. They had been texting, with Mei Lin usually initiating conversation and him replying with short sentences or single words. Even though she was rather good at holding a one-sided conversation, her texts dropped off. They had texted earlier in the night, but she never replied to his last message, which usually meant she had fallen asleep. Yet here he was. Standing outside of a sleeping woman’s room like an idiot, or a creep. Right as he began to turn heel a voice from the end of the hall caught his attention. Mei Lin. She said something in her language before seeing Shuhrat and freezing. The two stared at each other from opposite sides of the hall. Mei Lin brisky walked towards him, “What are you doing?” Her voice had become a hiss, she was clearly surprised to see him. 

“I have the schematics for your candela, so you can fix it.” He extended his hand with the paper, with a glance she took it from him, giving it a quick glance before her expression softened. “You could’ve waited for tomorrow.” 

Shuhrat just nodded, he knew that, but the desire to speak to her was a bit too strong. With a click Mei Lin opened the door, holding it open “Do you want to come in?” He blinked. Why was she inviting him in? It’s not like he minded, if anything it was what he wanted.

“Sure.” 

The door closed behind them and he sat at the desk chair she had in the corner, watching the smaller woman rummage through a bag. “I have something to give you as thanks. I was going to give this to you tomorrow, but you’re here now and why not!” She handed him a plastic wrapped snack. Embellished with the name of ‘snowball’. Shuhrat raised an eyebrow. “Sweets?” 

“Yeah I know, but I asked Tze Long to get me some snacks, and he said these were good. So uh. If you want something else then tough luck.” 

The way she ended her sentence managed to coax a small laugh from Shuhrat. Much to Mei Lin’s surprise. He wasn’t the biggest fan of sweet things, but getting it from her seemed much more special to him. The stupid smiling faces stared up at him as he looked back up at her. 

“Thank you. I’d rather have alcohol though.” He was half-joking, but realized joking with her made her smile and laugh with him. 

“Oh I agree, but I didn’t pick the stuff up, Tze Long refused to buy me alcohol. Old man still thinks I’m a teenager!” Her laugh was contagious. Shuhrat found himself smiling for longer than he considered comfortable. “Can’t you drive there?” 

The atmosphere immediately turned dark. All laughing stopped and she glanced at him with a strange weariness in her eyes. “No.” Mei Lin replied bluntly. 

“Why?” 

Shuhrat wanted to shove his fist into his mouth. A nerve was clearly touched, and here he was, making it worse. Despite being quiet, he could never seem to shut up when it came to things that made people uncomfortable. He fully expected Mei Lin to shrug it off, as it seemed to be something she was good at. But she leaned against the dresser and her expression darkened. “Want to know? It’s pretty bad.” Shuhrat had just backed himself into a corner, he couldn’t just refuse and let the dark atmosphere linger like old cigarette smoke. With hesitation he nodded. “I got into a pretty bad car wreck during some training. It was some, combat driving thing. I didn’t think about what I was doing and ended up breaking my neck. After that I don’t think I can get behind the wheel of a car again.” 

Shuhrat nodded, “I get it, sorry for asking.” He looked down, unable to meet her eyes. But when she grabbed his knee he almost jumped. The smile back on her face. “Don’t apologize, you were just curious.” He didn’t know how to respond. He didn’t expect this reaction out of her. And in something very uncharacteristic of him, he patted her hand. “Thanks for telling me. Sorry that happened to you but I’m glad you’re ok now.” Shuhrat cringed inwardly, he sounded like the psych guy Harry. But seeing her smile again made him feel a bit better about saying stupid things. 

“Yeah don’t worry about it! Now I hate to kick you out, but I have to sleep. Caveria is doing hand-to-hand training with me. And if I even yawn during practice she’ll scream at me.” Mei Lin walked to the door and opened it for him, and he followed diligently. The two stared at each other for a good second before Shuhrat mumbled his goodnites, and watched as she shut the door behind him quietly. 

The uzbeck was now alone in the hall, a plastic wrapped sweet in his hand and a strange warmth in his chest. As he walked back to his own dorm his mind wandered. A long time ago a similar situation arose in his life, he remembered his old fiancēe, whose face was lost to time. Before they had even started living together they would part the same way he did with Mei Lin. He’d always bend down to kiss her, saying his goodbyes and having her wave him off. In a way the memory was painful, but replacing the faceless fiancēe with Mei Lin gave him a sense of bliss. When he got back to his dorm it felt as if he had been walking within a dream. The realization of his attraction to a coworker was less unsettling as it was exciting. In a haze he removed his day clothes and sat on his bed rubbing his eyes. He knew this was going to be an issue. She had always intrigued him. It all started after the passionate meeting they had after their first mission together, and it only seemed to develop more after she apologized to him. Within these few weeks his affinity towards her grew, even making him stand outside her door like an awkward teenager. If they hadn’t met tonight would he even be thinking about this? Probably not. But hearing her tell him about her past made his own past rise from the depths of his psyche. He hadn’t felt this warmth for a very long time. The altered memory of him bending down to kiss his ex-fiancēe-turned Mei Lin would burn itself into his mind as he tried to sleep. This was bad. There was a reason these memories remained locked away. And he wasn’t ready to face that beast. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im flying by the seat of my pants over here. it's great.


	4. Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone gets ready for a mission in L.A, and Shuhrat gets brave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm using the op's real names when in non-combat situations, then switching to their code names in the combat setting, also another transitional chap, i like exposition- sorry if it's boring.

10 operators stood in the military airport, looking more like tourists than highly skilled combat specialists. Everyone had a suitcase and wore their day clothes. They were on the way to Los Angeles, California, where a certain bioengineering lab had been targeted by a group of White Masks who seemed to be experimenting on the local homeless population. Intel gathered where the general location of the hideout was and what lab they were targeting, so both defence and attack was called. Mei Lin was excited. Her last mission was over a month ago, and it wasn’t a large scale one like this. She even noticed Shuhrat was joining the attackers, as well as Grace. The other two attackers were Emmanuelle and Ryad, making the team very well rounded for an urban environment as well as intel gathering. She noticed that everybody seemed to group in with their friends, much like teenagers at a social gathering. She herself had gravitated towards Grace and Tina, who were excited to finally visit California. But every once in a while she would glance around the place and lock eyes with Shuhrat, who sat with his fellow Spetsnaz operators, Alexsandr and Maxim. She’d wave at him and he’d do the same. Part of her wanted to go speak to him, but her general unease with Alexsandr made her hesitate. A loud voice cut through the chatter, “The plane just landed! Get off your asses and let's go, we got a good 10 hours ahead of us so I don’t wanna waste any time here.” The woman speaking was Meghan, who essentially put herself in charge due to her being the only American going on the trip. Everyone shuffled out of the airport and onto the plane, thanks to the fact they weren’t traveling normally, nobody had to worry about normal slow airport precautions. Grace had pulled Mei Lin into the seat next to hers, and across the aisle sat Shuhrat, clearly wanting to be close to Mei Lin as well. With everybody boarded Meghan stood at the front of the cabin for the rebriefing. “So as you all know, we’re dealing with bioweapons and White Masks, when we land we’ll have a day to ourselves before the projected mission time, but that is probably going to change. Six managed to get us a pretty cushy hotel, so thank her for that, and remember, we’ll be going over this again when we land. Capeesh?” Everyone agreed and it was finally time to take off. 

Halfway through the nighttime flight Shuhrat had finished the book he was reading, and looked across from him. He managed to lock eyes with Mei Lin, who reached across and poked him. “Hey, you get bored of reading?” She asked in a whisper. 

Shuhrat just shook his head. “I just finished, but I can’t ask Maxim for the other one because I don’t want to wake him up. You? ” 

“I was listening to an audiobook, but I just got tired of it. Glad you’re willing to talk though.” 

She placed her phone in her lap and leaned towards him, “I’m excited to visit California. We never get a day to just visit the places we're assigned, so I plan on going full tourist mode. How about you?” 

“If you’re going to go full tourist then I will too. We could have dinner.” He suggested, then almost kicking himself, did he just invite her to a date? 

“Yes! I’d love that. I really want to eat sushi, so we can definitely go out.” And she had just accepted the invitation without hesitation. Mei Lin clearly saw him as a good friend now, which was better than the relationship they had during the last mission. “But before sushi we have the mission, and I’ve been thinking of strategies, I think I’m ready for anything that can happen.” Her eyes glinted with determination and he couldn’t help but smile.

“Then you’ll have to be the leader. I’m sure the others will listen to you as well.” 

“Yeah, let’s hope.” She yawned then shook her head. “I think I’m going to try and get some sleep. See you when we land.” And with that she turned forward and leaned back, closing her eyes. Shuhrat mimicked her movements but when he turned to glance at Maxim his neighbour was staring at him with a knowing gaze. A smirk had spread across Maxim’s face as he shoved Shuhrat slightly. 

“You really have it bad for her, idiot.” He whispered in Russian, his voice mocking. 

Shuhrat scowled “Listen here asshole, let me have this, I’m not going to turn out lonely and bitter like you.” 

In reply Maxim sighed. “It’s not a bad thing. It’s cute that you have a little crush on her. Maybe you’ll get lucky while we’re in California.” Shuhrat felt his ears grow hot, it was amazing how well Maxim could read someone, even if it was aggravating. Before he could come up with a rebuttal Alexsandr’s face appeared between the gap in the seats in front of them. “Are you two talking about Shuhrats little crush on the china girl?” The older man asked, causing Shuhrat to put his face in his palms. 

Maxim laughed. “Yes, he invited her out for a date.” In turn Alexsandr laughed much louder than was needed, causing people to stir. 

“How long has it been since you’ve been with a woman Shuhrat? Don’t be scared to seize the opportunity! She is very cute.” Before Shuhrat could lunge at the older man a english voice interrupted their conversation. “Can you three,  _ shut the fuck up? _ ” Behind them sat Mark, one of the British operators, shooting daggers at them from the seat behind. The Russians nodded and shut up. Maxim closed his eyes as if nothing happened, and Shuhrat’s annoyance kept him awake. 

It was late in the morning when the plane landed. The operators helped each other with getting their luggage and tactical gear out of the plane. They were all met by American soldiers, who seemed to be pretty excited about meeting Rainbow. One younger man had already begun hounding Grace and Mei Lin. “It sucks that you guys are staying off base, I’d love to speak more, where are you ladies from?” 

“Oh I’m from Ho-” Before Mei Lin could finish her sentence Grace had grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards one of the vans. “Don’t talk to them, they just get excited when they see women.” Her tone was flat, the Korean clearly hadn’t gotten enough sleep during the trip. She led Mei Lin to one of the vans their luggage was being put in. “Remember we’re tourists for today, so no work talk until it's absolutely necessary.” Grace essentially shoved Mei Lin into the back middle seat. The smaller woman’s back came in contact with another person, and when she turned to apologise her heart nearly caught in her throat. Shuhrat sat in the seat next to hers. 

“Hello.” He said, helping her get situated. 

Mei Lin smiled. “Hi.” She was very close to him now, and with Grace getting in after her she realized she was now squished between the two taller operators. Then the reality of being crammed into a car set in and she immediately felt sick. The other operators didn’t know about her issue, but she felt a large hand grab her own and squeeze. Shuhrat leaned forward. “I know you’re uncomfortable, just stay close and close your eyes.” He whispered into her ear, causing a jolt of energy to course through her whole body. She nodded and watched the other attackers get into the van, none of them seeming to notice the interaction between the two. The soldier driving the van turned to the attackers and started the engine. “Let’s go! I’ll get you there before that lard ass driving your friends.” As the van started to move Mei Lin closed her eyes, Shuhrat’s thumb grasing carefully against her knuckles kept her grounded in reality. Instead of going back to the day she crashed, her mind wandered to the man holding her hand. He was very handsome, and that was a given. Despite his boyish shaved face, the rest of his body was very masuline and covered in dark hair. And she couldn’t help but imagine how nice it would be to actually date someone stoic like him. Mei Lin’s past romantic endeavors were embarrassing to say the least, her last boyfriend, Masaru was more occupied with his drones than her, and she even broke one in anger. So that wasn’t very successful. But something was different with Shuhrat. He clearly cared about her, because if he didn’t he wouldn’t accept the apology for her past behavior. Now wasn’t the time to tell him about her attraction though, it would get in the way of work, and could possibly lead to the death of their friendship that they had built up for the past month and a half. But now that Shuhrat was holding her hand and clearly helping her stay grounded through a potential trigger, she knew he was nicer than he let on.

The van stopped outside the front of the hotel and Shuhrat almost pushed Ryad over while trying to pull Mei Lin out of the car. When he exited the van he realized he was still holding her hand. The feeling of her much smaller one within his was quite nice, but he let go when Ryad called out for help with the luggage. But before he went to go help he looked down to Mei Lin. “Are you ok?” 

With a soft smile she nodded. “Yes, Thank you.” That smile caused his ears to heat up. And as he rolled the luggage into the lobby he burned that look into his head. If he was brave he would’ve leaned down to brush her bangs away and kiss her forehead. But that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. Maxim was right, he did have it bad. The five attackers arrived before their counterparts. Ryad was checking everyone in while everybody stood idly. Meghan was right, Six did get a nice hotel for the operatives. Since this mission was an urban intel mission, it was a risk to stay at the nearest base. The hotel knew that they were housing operatives with guns and special gadgets, but Rainbow had enough money to get what they wanted. When defense showed up Ryad handed everybody their room keys. “Mei Lin, Grace and Tina are in room 1506. Shuhrat, Maxim and Alexsandr are in room 1508. Mark and I are in room 1505 and Emmanuelle is with Meghan in room 1510. Don’t lose your keys.” Everyone took their keys and headed to the elevators. Tina put her arms around Grace and Mei Lin. “We should totally get changed and go look around town! I saved up some money for shopping.” Grace laughed. “Everything here is super expensive so good luck, I’ll look up restaurants nearby.” The three women laughed with each other as they got into the elevator with the other two female operators. Meghan rolled her eyes. “Don’t get your hopes up ladies, I still don’t know when attack has to ‘go to work’.” Grace groaned. “Yeah I’m still looking in on the ‘bugs’, I have a feeling tonight will be the night for us.” The 3 other attackers sighed in response. “You’re right Grace.” Emmanuelle said “I hate working at night.” 

  
  


Working from night did suck. The 5 attackers set up shop in an abandoned building next to the White Mask’s hideout, which was a part of the same old tech center they were in. The hideout was 4 stories high with roof access, Dokkaebi was able to pinpoint the exact location right after they got settled into the hotel. Ying had gotten into gear quicker than the others, and watched as the rest got suited up. Jackal was careful with his gadget, while Twitch pulled her mask over her thick brown hair. “I’m amazed that you can fit all your hair in there.” Jackal commented. 

In reply Twitch scoffed. “You get good at it after a while.” 

The pre-mission chatter was good, it helped calm any nerves that lingered before storming the building. They loaded their guns and clicked on their headsets, making sure communication was possible. Dokkaebi was studying her tablet intensely, and Ying glanced around her arm to see complicated looking code. “I’m checking all the cellphones connected to the local cell tower. If I can get a general location then I can tell what part of the building they’re in. But it also means my Logic Bomb will affect a lot of people in the surrounding area.” Ying pursed her lips not fully understanding all the technical stuff both Twitch and Dokkaebi exeled in, but she was happy they were here. Meanwhile Fuze settled himself into a calm silence, observing the others as they prepared for the mission, he and Ying would be working side by side again, but unlike the last one he felt they could work much better than before. He remembered the conversation they had on the plane about her taking charge, and she really did. 

Ying gathered the others around her and clasped her hands together. “Here’s the plan. Twitch, you scout out the lower floors with Jackal and Dokkaebi, use your drone before we go in. Fuze and I will enter the building from the roof and work down. If Dokkaebi’s numbers are right - which I’m sure they are - there should only be about 20 people in the building. Don’t fire until you know you have good visuals and can guarantee the kill, because the less attention we garner the better. Got it?” A smile spread across her face, and unlike others who took up the leadership position, her tone of voice was soft and encouraging. 

Everyone agreed, trusting an urban combat specialist to know what she was doing. Ying then turned to Fuze, a more serious look in her eye than before. “Let’s go out back.” Fuze could only nod as the smaller woman led him out the back door of the empty complex. Before the two got the O.K to rappel Fuze felt her take his hand, much like he did earlier in the day. He squeezed her hand in response, not looking at her. “Mei Lin, after this we’re going to have some really good sushi.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the chap would be too long if i included the entire mission... so i'm continuing it in the next one.


	5. Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A post mission-date goes in a direction the two of them didn't expect.   
> (c/w - a quick reference to past sexual assault)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the longest chapter so far, and i did write most of it in a sleepy haze at 2 am. so apologies for that

Rapelling to the top of the building was easy enough. The roof was clear, with the access already being busted open. Ying listened in to Twitch’s observations about the building itself. She could see the 3 other operators on the ground, huddled around Twitch as she controlled her drone. As Ying waited patiently for the call from Twitch, she noticed Fuze tapping the floor with his boot. 

“What are you doing?” She whispered, attempting to get his attention. Fuze didn’t acknowledge her, continuing his strange ritual of tapping around the concrete roof. It was hard getting through to him normally, but when the mask and goggles went on, he became a blank slate. “I can’t penetrate this floor with my bombs.” He stated before crouching next to Ying near the roof access. It only took a few minutes for Twitch to spot people on the second floor, then the third. “We are clear to enter, you two can go ahead. Why don’t you set those explosives off before we get on the second floor?” Jackal stated. His suggestion made sense, once Fuze set down clusters it was hard to control the splash damage. 

Ying entered with Fuze close behind, his hand settling on her shoulder as they transversed the stairs. Each step echoed through the empty stairwell, with Fuze’s heavy boots causing an alarming amount of reverberation. Once the two got onto the fourth floor, Ying spotted the shock drone at the end of the hall. She waved at the machine, and the drone spun around, as if Twitch was waving back. “Stop playing with the drone.” Fuze told her before walking past into one of the empty offices. “One of these offices should be above some White Masks. I’ll set down my charges and you can prepare the breaching charge. We’ll do what we did last time.” 

Ying nodded in reply, then brought her mic closer to her mouth. “Jackal can you try and see if you track someone on the third floor? Fuze and I are trying to-” Her request was cut short when she heard the distinctive ringing of phones down below their feet. Dokkaebi set off a Logic Bomb. “Logic Bomb has been set off. Jackal told me this would be easier for you two.” Without saying a word Fuze set his cluster charge as the symphony of buzzes was beginning to come to a close. Ying could only watch as he set off the charge and the sound of his bombs filled the room. Screams and meaty thuds followed. Before they could celebrate voices filled the hall outside of the room they were in. The remaining 3rd floor White Masks were heading upstairs, and it was finally time for a confrontation. Ying prepared her candella while Fuze pointed his AK-12 towards the direction of the voices. Signalling her with a curt nod, Ying knew it was time to deploy her gadget. Rolling it out down the hallway. The second her candella lit up the two sprung into action. Five disoriented White Masks stood by the staircase at the end of the hall, and they were quickly shot down by the two operators before they even got their eyesight back. “Good job.” Fuze said as he leisurely walked over to the bodies, checking to make sure if any of them were breathing. Their own shootout was followed by one that came from downstairs. Two clear shotgun shots rang through the building, which was met with the sounds of automatic fire. 

“Could you two come down here? All of them are on the second floor!” Jackal’s voice seemed desperate. And Fuze was quick to lead Ying down the steps onto the now empty 3rd floor. The gunshots stopped, but the general location of where the shots came from was clear. Ying rushed into an adjacent room and set down a breach charge. Then she watched as Fuze set another cluster charge onto the wood floor. Twitch’s voice came to life over their earpieces. “The group is in the meeting room right below you two. You’re safe to breach or set another cluster charge.” That was enough for Fuze as he stepped back with Ying, both of them preparing their charges. Ying counted to 3 and they both squeezed their detonators, a large explosion followed by several smaller ones made their ears ring. The floor had been completely blown out, and Ying took the opportunity to throw a candella through the hole so she could get an angle on the White Masks below. Chaos ensued as the lights flashed and bullets flew up through the floor. Return fire was issued, With Ying managing to tag the 3 masks knocked down by the cluster charge explosives. The room then filled with smoke, and it was time for the other operators to enter the room through a shotgunned hole Jackal had made. The sound of gunfire was defaning. Two final shotgun shots finished off the volleys of gunfire. The silence. Ying saw Dokkeabi wave at her through the hole in the floor. 

“Clear!” Jackal called out. Giving Ying and fuze the opportunity to jump down onto the floor below. The meeting room was filled with bodies, each one being checked by Twitch with her Magnum in hand. 

“Is everyone O.K?” Ying asked, making sure nobody had been shot in the altercation. “My vest was nicked a bit, but nothing major.” Jackal commented. A gunshot rang through the room causing everyone to jump. Twitch turned to the other operators and shared a sheepish smile. “Missed one.” 

  
  


Shuhrat woke up late in the day, and noticed he was alone in the room. Two texts lit up his screen, one from Maxim had been on his phone, mentioning that the defenders were preparing to settle down in the nearby bioengineering lab and the other from Mei Lin, telling him she was awake and ready to know when he’d like to go out to eat. He smiled, glad she remembered and was even inviting him. A small part of him felt scared about the future between Mei Lin and him, she didn’t know about his past, and at this point he didn’t want her to find out. With it already being late afternoon, he asked if she’d be willing to eat at 7, which gave Shuhrat more than enough time to get ready and psych himself up. Her reply was quick, eating at 7 was a go. This would be more nerve wracking than the mission they had earlier, it was easy for him to feel comfortable doing military work, but when it came to actually dating Shuhrat felt as if he didn’t belong in his own skin. It was a miracle he even managed to propose to someone in the past, but then again, the proposal was rushed by his parents. This time his parents wouldn’t be breathing down his neck, and his ex-fianée wouldn’t be waiting for him behind the door when the time came. Thinking of his romantic past was always an issue for him, talking about it was even harder. Only the other Spetsnaz operators knew he had a finacée at one point, but they didn’t know why or how they broke up. Alexsandr would pressure him about it every once in a while, but besides that, the memories were his and his alone. His finacée was older than him by a few years, like him she was from Uzbekistan and her family knew his own. She used him to get out of Uzbekistan and move to Moscow, where she was able to get her dream job. But after joining the Spetsnaz, Shuhrat felt himself grow more reclusive and quiet. The quaint happy life he had envisioned was growing dim due to him constantly being put in harm's way due to the work he did. After falling into a depression and using the time she wanted to spend with him to work on Martsyoka, they broke it off. She left during the night and he never saw her again. Maybe it was for the best. 

Shuhrat buttoned up his shirt and felt nervous about the dinner. Would Mei Lin realize he was just not enjoyable to be around? Or would she be able to crack his hard exterior he had built up after his finacée had left. A majority of him wished for the ladder. Even if Mei Lin didn’t see this date as a fully romantic endeavor he didn’t mind, it was nice being in her presence. After milling about on his phone for a good while, he figured 6 was a good time to put his shoes on and wait nervously by the door. But he didn’t have to wait for long. Mei Lin only had to knock once before Shuhrat opened the door for her, and he noticed just how nice it was seeing her in a dress. Mei Lin stood before him wearing an orange sundress that barely passed her knees, and she even wore pumps that increased her height by a small amount. 

“You look handsome.” She said to him. Which caused his ears to heat up in an embarrassing way. “You look very nice as well.” He replied, his voice calm despite his brain freaking out. Mei Lin laughed and pinned her bangs back with a small flower pin, “I had to wrestle Grace in order to get out of our room. She wouldn’t let me leave without putting on at least some makeup and doing something with my hair.” 

“Does Grace know you’re going out with me?” Shuhrat asked, not realizing that their co-workers would be aware of the little outing they had planned.

“I had to tell her or she wouldn’t move out from in front of the door. Grace said she wasn’t surprised since we worked so well together last night.” 

Shuhrat stepped out into the hall with Mei Lin and closed the door, “That’s good I guess. Knowing her she’d find out anyway.” 

“Exactly.”

Once the two left the hotel, Mei Lin showed him the restaurant on her phone, it was within walking distance so she wouldn’t have to get into a car. And them leaving the hotel allowed them to place their professional selves to the side. Fuze and Ying were still in the hotel, while Mei Lin and Shuhrat walked together taking in the sights of downtown L.A. In a way, Mei Lin was happier to feel like a civilian again. At this point in time, Rainbow didn’t exist. They were tourists on a fun little vacation. “This place might be a bit too warm for me.” Shuhrat commented. Even as the sun was setting, it was still warmer than Herefordshire. 

Mei Lin just shrugged. “Hong Kong is about the same temperature during this time of year, I’m used to it.” 

“Yeah but I’m not. Russia is always cold, and when it’s not, it’s not as nice as here.” 

Mei Lin nudged him with her elbow “Then enjoy it.” 

Shuhrat just blew air through his nose as they neared the restaurant, with Mei Lin holding the door open for him and several other guests. They talked to the hostess and were quickly seated. The sight of people eating sushi was just enough to make Mei Lin excited. The last time she was able to eat out like this was nearly 6 months ago when Yumiko made a few rolls for everyone. Even then it was only basic, but this time Mei Lin could splurge without having the watchful eye of Tze Long making sure her portions were proper sizes. Shuhrat ordered beers for the both of them and turned to look at her when the waitress left the table. The whole situation felt bizarre in a way. Just last night the two had donned military gear and killed bad guys, but now they were on a date wearing nice clothes and having small talk. 

“Mei Lin.” Shuhrat got her attention. “Do you consider this a date?” He asked, his voice low, as if he was embarrassed. 

“Of course I do. Now a romantic date? That might be a bit harder to answer.” She replied, pulling apart her chopsticks as he did the same.

“How so?” Shuhrat raised an eyebrow.

“Well, it matters how you perceive it I guess. I don’t want this to be one sided.” Mei Lin began to stumble over her own thoughts. She did consider it a romantic date. Their interactions before this have been romantic in nature. And she’d be lying if she said there wasn’t an underlying attraction to him. But due to how closed off Shuhrat was most of the time, whenever he did something that seemed romantic she second guessed it. Beers and appetizers were placed in front of them, and before Shuhrat could answer the waiter asked for their orders. The quick diversion wasn’t enough to completely derail the conversation though. 

“I perceive it as romantic.” He stated matter-of-factly. Which in turn almost caused Mei Lin to spit her beer out. “I-I do too.” She replied, hoping the dark lighting in the restaurant could hide her growing blush. Now was a good time to change the subject, “How do you think the others are doing?” She asked in a half hearted way to dispel the now awkward atmosphere. “They’re doing work.” Shuhrat replied, his tone flat. She nearly lost him. “This may seem rude, but are you wearing makeup?” He brought the conversation back to the date talk she attempted to avoid. 

Mei Lin nodded. “Yes, but only mascara and lip gloss. I don’t really bring makeup with me when we travel. Can you notice?” It was Shuhrat’s turn to nod. “Yes. I think it’s nice though. I’m actually wearing Maxim’s shirt because I don’t bring nice clothes.” That got a laugh out of Mei Lin, who started giggling into her beer. “He’s going to be so mad at you.”

“I don’t really care what he gets mad at me about these days. He wasn’t going to wear it anyways.” 

The waitress dropped their food off and shot a puzzled look towards the laughing Mei Lin. The small talk ceased as they began to eat, Mei Lin taking this lapse in conversation to glance at her phone, which was completely still and dark. She sighed. Shuhrat noticed her placing her phone down and raised an eyebrow. “What’s on the phone?” He asked. “Are any of our co-workers messaging you?” 

She rolled her eyes in return “No. Just making sure none of them were. I don’t want to think about any of them right now.”

  
  


The two ate in a comfortable silence, only interjecting with short comments and inquiries. Mostly asking about how their food was. It was nice. As they finished up Mei Lin put the remaining gyoza into a to-go box for Tina as they paid the bill separately. It was dark when they left. Shuhrat taking Mei Lin’s hand in his own. “It’s been so long since I’ve been on a date.” She mused. 

Shuhrat agreed. “I don’t even remember the last time I went out like this with someone. Thank you.” He squeezed her hand softly and she returned the motion. “I enjoyed it! Makes me feel like a normal person.” 

They walked side by side on the sidewalk, Mei Lin enjoying the company with him even more now that they weren’t confined to a table in a dimly lit restaurant. As well as being proud of herself for coaxing Shuhrat out of his shell. “You know.” Shuhrat said, causing Mei Lin to look up at him. “I don’t really want this to end quite yet. Why don’t you come with me into my room after we get back?” His proposition seemed brave, as it was usually Mei Lin who invited him to hang out. 

“Of course! We can drink that expensive hotel wine.” She smiled at him, excited to just spend more time talking to her date. But to her surprise, Shuhrat said something that totally came out of left field. “I think I’d like you to not be drunk for this.” He even surprised himself, and the request managed to shut Mei Lin up as they neared the hotel. Her face was a bright red, and even Shuhrat was beginning to blush at how brash he was. “Sure.” She replied, almost sounding winded. 

The elevator ride back up to their floor seemed to take place outside of time and space, with Shuhrat still riding the high of his bold statement, and Mei Lin being completely blown out of the water. The walk to the room was almost as strange as the elevator ride, but the second Mei Lin heard Shuhrat close the door behind them reality returned in full force. One question hung in the air between them. ‘Now what?’ Mei Lin hadn’t turned to face Shuhrat yet, instead she was looking at the two of them in the reflection of the window. He was behind her, hands on her arms. One of the perks of her hair being so short was the fact the nape of her neck was completely exposed. It was now or never, and Shuhrat chose now as he leaned to place a kiss on the back of her neck. Electric shocks ran through Mei Lin’s body and she found herself leaning into his touch. 

“Turn around.” He muttered into her skin. She complied and turned to face him, reaching up to hold his face in her hands. 

“I’m a bit rusty.” Mei Lin whispered as their faces neared. 

“I am too.” He replied, his lips only millimeters away from her own. They met in the middle, with Shuhrat’s hands slipping to hold the small of her back. The kiss was deeper than Mei Lin first anticipated. With Shuhrat forcing her mouth open with his tongue. He clearly thought this through, and as she kicked her shoes off they surfaced for air, but before Mei Lin could fit in a quip about something stupid he dove back in with more force than the first. Her hands left his face and roamed his clothed chest, feeling the hard form under her fingers. Time slowed down, and Mei Lin was now forced against the dresser as she felt him begin to unzip her dress. Shuhrat moved to her neck and Mei Lin couldn’t stop a curse in Cantonese from leaving her mouth. His english also seemed to stop working, as he peppered her neck with kisses and sweet nothings in Russian. She heard her name a few times, and he heard his. Before her dress could be fully unzipped she managed to unbutton the top few buttons on his shirt. With her hands now roaming his exposed flesh she managed to catch his lips with her own. Two more buttons popped and Shuhrat suddenly stopped. His eyes were wide and Mei Lin immediately knew something wasn’t right. “What’s wrong?” She whispered, trying not to be accusative. He looked shaken. “I… I just remembered something.” His voice was quiet and he now sat on the floor underneath Mei Lin, who dropped to make sure he was alright. “Can you tell me?” She asked.

“If I do you tell no-one.”

A quick nod was all that came from Mei Lin. 

“My ex-fiancée, she ended up forcing herself onto me the night we finally broke up.” He sounded completely removed from everything, with the vacant look in his eyes disappearing as he looked Mei Lin directly in the eyes. She was speechless. “That’s horrible.” Is all she could muster. And she watched as he rose to his feet. “I think we can end it here.” He said to her, helping her off of the floor. 

“Yes.” She replied, still holding up the sides of her dress as she left the room, closing the door softly behind her. 

In the hallway she came face to face with Grace who was holding a pizza box. “What happened?” The other woman asked. Mei Lin just shook her head. “Nothing. Let’s go back to our room.” 

Shuhrat listened to Mei Lin’s footsteps disappear down the hall. Tears were now streaming down his face, he fucked it up. She was going to avoid him and this night would be something they would both regret. He hated himself for showing weakness, and even telling her. Months of work came crashing down right before his eyes, and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. Mei Lin would never speak to him again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i should probably finish this fic up before my final papers are due huh. thanks online classes.


	6. Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mei Lin and Shuhrat have to push their awkward feelings to the side in order to make progress in their own relationship. 
> 
> (c/w mention of sexual assault)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the 2 week overdue update, my first year of college ended and i found myself in a bit of a mental slump. but i'm back now :)

Grace ushered Mei Lin back into their shared hotel room, nearly pushing the smaller woman onto the bed. “What happened?” She asked, setting the pizza box down and sitting across from Mei Lin.

“It’s something I really don’t want to share right now Grace.” In the dim light of the hotel room Grace looked at Mei Lin holding up her unzipped dress with a far away look in her eyes. Something happened and Grace needed to know. “Oh come on, please. You can tell me.” The Korean offered her friend a slice of pizza, holding it in front of her before noticing silent tears rolling down Mei Lin’s face. 

Grace was immediately caught off guard, she had never seen Mei Lin cry, since it was usually Mei Lin being the shoulder to cry on. She had always been so easy to talk to, always offering help or advice in the face of any issues her friends may have. But when that person so good at making others feel at ease was currently breaking down, it was hard to deal with. Grace just extended her arms for the smaller woman to lean into. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Sorry for being pushy.” 

“No, it’s fine. You’re fine. I just think everything I worked towards might’ve been ruined.” Mei Lin said between sniffs. Grace patted her friend's bare back, she didn’t really know what to do in this sort of situation. 

“Do… do you want to watch videos on my tablet with me?” She asked, feeling Mei Lin laugh into her chest. “Sure. Just let me get changed.” When Mei Lin rose from the bed her eyes were puffy, but the tears stopped. And Grace watched as the barefooted woman grabbed her pajamas from her suitcase and disappeared into the bathroom. 

Mei Lin felt like she had been punched in the gut. Looking at herself in the mirror was hard, her mascara had begun to run and she really did look disheveled and sad. It wasn’t her fault for digging up Shuhrat’s past trauma, was it? Guilt replaced the sadness as she let the dress pool around her ankles. The knowledge he gave her tonight felt like it was something never to be spoken of again. As Mei Lin removed her bra she noticed a dark splotch on the side of her neck, which caused a strange feeling to settle itself in her gut. A reminder. What could she even talk about with him after this? If they wanted to continue their relationship then this obstacle would be the biggest thing to get over. But speaking to Shuhrat about his past seemed like the touchiest subject yet. He knew about her trauma, and she knew his, but was it something she truly wanted to know? Mei Lin sunk to the floor of the bathroom, she really did like him. And he had to as well, or he just wouldn’t tell her about what happened. She just needed a good time to talk to him, to assure him she didn’t see him as less of a man. Mei Lin needed a plan, a plan to talk to him, heart to heart. But that talk might not come until after they return to Hereford. Her heart sank. What if he thought she hated him? The best plan of action now would be to send him a text, a word of reassurance. She rose from the floor and put her pants on, opening the door and making a bee-line towards her phone and Grace, who sat on their shared bed eating the pizza on her stomach. The other woman didn’t say anything, she didn’t even look as Mei Lin’s fingers flew over the tiny keyboard. This was a mission only Mei Lin could complete, and she was going to fix everything. 

  
  


Shuhrat’s phone screen lit up from the other side of the room. He had been sitting in silence after Mei Lin left, and he begrudgingly got up, half expecting a stupid text from Timur or Lera. But to his surprise it was a message from Mei Lin. 

‘ _ Idk if u are asleep, but I want u to know that I don’t hate u. Thank u for telling me, I won’t tell a soul. Sleep well. Pls talk to me soon.’ _

He stared at the message, not knowing what to make of it. He was happy she didn’t hate him. If anything, that’s all he needed to hear. Shuhrat walked back to the bed, sitting down on it again without taking his eyes off of the message. If anything, the message made him feel worse about kicking her out. Mei Lin was one of the best things to happen to him in a long time, and he had just tossed her out. What his ex-fianceé did that night truly did hurt. The scars being deep and affecting every future endeavor he found himself in. But Mei Lin accepted him, she left when he asked, saying nothing. And in this short message her voice came through loud and clear. She cared for him, she didn’t degrade him for his past. If Shuhrat were more romantic, he’d invite her back over and allow her to embrace him again, allowing the trauma of his past and the memory of his ex-fianceé to dissolve for good. In a way, he wanted her to save him from his past. The screen dimmed and shut off, revealing his reflection in the glass. But before he could lose himself into the pit of self hatred again, it lit up once more. 

_ ‘P.S. Don’t hate yourself either.’ _

He opened the keyboard and began to type. 

_ ‘Thank you. Good night. I will bring you your shoes in the morning.” _

He really didn’t know what else to say. What could he say? ‘Oh yeah I don’t hate myself for being weak in the face of physical contact and love, it’s just something that torments me every day!’ That negativity wouldn’t fly with Mei Lin. Her positive attitude tended to negate any negative thoughts he had. He was weak, but in her presence that weakness subsided. He closed his eyes and placed his phone on the bed next to him. The memory of sweeping her off her feet replaying in his head as if it hadn’t happened only an hour ago. Instead of wallowing in his own hatred, he would take that scene and replay it. Unlike past nights where the memory of his trauma surfaced, this would replace that in his consciousness as he prepared to sleep. If he stayed in Moscow and didn’t exert himself after his fianceé left, his only memory of the small operator from Hong Kong would be her screaming at him about something he thought was arbitrary. He wouldn’t have known she could’ve been this different from the woman he had in his head. Maybe she thought the same way. If she had not joined Rainbow, what would her only memory of him be? It was something to ask her when they pushed his trauma behind them. Which seemed radical to him. But Shuhrat knew Mei Lin was going to save him from his past. 

It was nearly 6 am when Shuhrat was shaken awake by both Maxim and Alexsandr. Alexsandr was laughing about something, and the ever stoic Maxim had joined in. “Shuhrat I did not know you packed little shoes!” That one statement immediately broke Shuhrat out from his sleep induced haze. 

The defenders returned before he could return Mei Lin’s shoes, meaning he had to explain why he had them, and how they got there. He rose from the bed and faced his comrades, Maxim still sporting his face paint. “We walk into the hotel room and what do we see?” Maxim asked Alexsandr, who smiled and finished the sentence “Women’s SHOES!” The older man had doubled over as if he had been shot. 

Shuhrat couldn’t escape this situation. So he would own up to it. “Yes, they’re women’s shoes. It's very funny Alexsandr.” His voice was deadpan, clearly showing his distaste for the scenario he found himself in. Under the dark face paint Maxim raised an eyebrow. “Do they belong to Mei Lin?” The defender asked, clearly knowing the answer, just waiting for it to be confirmed by his comrade. A curt nod was all Shuhrat could muster, his ears beginning to burn in embarrassment. 

Ever since the four Spetsnaz joined Rainbow they had always been tight, they always told each other everything. Alexsandr finally stopped laughing and rose up, placing a large hand on Shuhrat’s shoulder. “Well, she is not in bed with you now, so you must’ve done something wrong.” Maxim slapped the other man on the arm, “Don’t say that. Sometimes it doesn’t work out, you neanderthal. Though I must agree, why isn’t she here?” 

With a deep sigh Shuhrat laid back down. “It’s none of your business. Stop asking.” And with that final word he turned his back to the others, who fell into silence. Maxim glared at Alexsandr before heading towards the bathroom to wash up. As Maxim disappeared into the bathroom Alexsander squatted closer to Shuhrat’s head. “Is it because of what happened before?” He asked quietly. 

All Shuhrat replied with was a grunt as Alexsander patted the younger man on the back. Despite his boisterous and blunt personality, Alexsandr had the most understanding of Shuhrat’s past. He clearly cared for the younger man, relating with his stories and issues. Unlike Maxim who tended to psychoanalyze anything he was told. His heart was in the right place, but he clearly had unconventional methods of offering sympathy. 

A light rap on the door is what woke Shuhrat up again. Moving Maxim’s arm to the side and making sure he didn’t wake the sleeping defenders he snuck towards the door. Looking through the peephole he saw a slightly unkempt head of short black hair, Mei Lin was standing outside. 

Shuhrat hesitated. It felt too early to speak to her again, his cowardice was keeping him from just opening the door. The texts they exchanged last night showed that they were clearly on good terms, but there was still a lingering sense of awkwardness within Shuhrat. Despite that he pushed his fear aside and opened the door, meeting her out in the hall in order to not wake the other two. Mei Lin was holding a tray of coffees and a bag of food. “Grace and I woke up and decided to go get breakfast at a little donut shop Meghan recommended. I thought it would be nice to get everyone coffee and something to eat, and you guys are my last stop.” Her tone was light, and her mannerisms showed no sign of her even being aware of what happened the night before. Unlike Shuhrat who felt as if he was going to fall to pieces at any moment. 

“Thank you. Did you also want your shoes and leftovers back?” Asking that seemed to break the illusion of an innocent meeting, causing an awkward smile to spread across the smaller woman’s face. 

She nodded. “That would be nice.” He motioned to her to sit still before disappearing into the den of the sleeping Russians. Both men blissfully unaware of the world around them. Shuhrat scooped up her pumps and the leftovers before sneaking out again. “Here.” They exchanged goods and the air felt thick. Despite being in a hotel hallway he felt as if they were the only two people in the world at this very moment. A small awkward exchange finally ending with a smile from Mei Lin. 

“A couple of us are going out shopping today. Would you like to join us for our last lunch before we leave this afternoon?” Shuhrat shook his head. “Sorry, the two in there want to do their own things today and I’ll join them for that.” He lied. 

At the moment Shuhrat was tired of L.A, he was content with sitting alone in the hotel room all day until it was time to pack up and leave. Mei Lin’s face fell, but she seemed to understand. 

“Alright then. I’m going to go put some actual clothes on. See you later.” And with that she turned to walk away, leaving Shuhrat to watch her disappear into her own room before he did the same. 

Boarding the plane was a pain for Mei Lin. She had to clutch her bag of new clothes close to her chest, because she didn’t want them being shoved in the hold with their suitcases and tactical gear. Shopping with the other women had been fun, it made her forget about any worries she had about Shuhrat, at least for a few hours. Tina told them about how their defense mission went. Which went a bit rockier than expected. The White Masks had raided the lab, only to be completely shredded by a certain Russian on a turret before they could make any sort of progress in raiding the building for whatever they needed. Her welcome mats were put to good use, breaking a few femurs to the Canadians delight. But there was collateral damage done, causing the lab director to nearly lose his mind at hearing the news of a doorway being blown by an EDD. But despite the damage, Meghan called the mission a success at lunch. And that successful feeling followed them onto the plane. Tina sat next to Mei Lin this time around, blocking her in to the window seat. This ride she wouldn’t be able to speak to Shuhrat. But maybe it was for the best. Their meeting that morning had been awkward, with Shuhrat clearly uncomfortable in her presence. She’d have to corner him when they got back to Hereford, because the pre-apology atmosphere was not going to fly with her now. But now her main concern was the bouncing leg of the woman beside her. In a regrettably aggressive move Mei Lin nearly slapped the other woman’s knee. Exerting her underlying frustration on Tina’s poor leg. With a wide eyed stare Tina turned to Mei Lin. 

“Why?” She asked. With a bright blush Mei Lin removed her hand. 

“Sorry. I guess you passed your energy onto me.” With a laugh Tina just grabbed the other’s hand. “We can share.” The ever chipper Tina not allowing any negative emotions in her presence. In a way it was welcome, Mei Lin needed distractions from Shuhrat, since thinking about him would only make her feel worse. 

As the plane ride droned on Mei Lin found herself looking out onto the dark world below them. Night had fallen and the plane grew silent. Many operators were asleep, including the woman sitting next to her. Boredom was now a state of existence, and the ever growing need to use the bathroom was ruining her concentration on nothing. With one uncomfortable movement she wiggled free with minimal disturbance to her neighbor. Making her way down the aisle Mei Lin observed what the other operators were doing. Ryad smiled at her as she walked past, Emmanuelle seemed to fall asleep in the middle of playing on her Nintendo and the rest were clearly in another state of existence. Some asleep, some glassy eyed. After the quick bathroom break the return trip allowed for more observation on Mei Lin’s part. But she nearly screamed when someone grabbed her hand. It was Shuhrat. The window seat next to him was empty, and he patted the seat in a silent way of telling her to sit. She obliged, seeing an opportunity to finally speak with him. 

“Hey.” He whispered, offering his opposite hand to her. With a quick glance she took it, his larger one enveloping hers in a soft embrace. 

“Do you want to talk?” She replied, still using a hushed tone. Shuhrat nodded, even in the dark she could see how soft his expression was, which was very unlike his normal glare. “I don’t want our relationship to be strained like this. I’m sorry for refusing you.” 

Mei Lin formed a small ‘o’ with her mouth, before leaning in close to him. “Don’t. Apologise. Shuhrat, it’s fine. You clearly had something traumatic happen to you. And I’m not going to make you apologize for not being ready for intimacy.” She was beginning to get heated, almost feeling offended that he would apologize for something clearly out of his control. Hot tears pricked at the edges of her eyes as she continued. “I’m not going to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.” 

Shuhrat shushed her and leaned forward as well. “Thank you. Really. But I don’t think you’d be happy with me. You’re too good.” 

With wide eyes Mei Lin just stared at him, shocked. “Listen.” She hissed. “I’m not too good, I’m not better than anybody. I like you because you were able to get over our awkward past. You’re attractive and I’m attracted to you. Simple as that. I will help you feel better. When I broke my neck after the wreck I felt miserable. I couldn’t do anything for myself. But it changed me. It made me who I am. And I will help you heal from your own trauma, even if it’s hard.” She placed her hand on his chest, the two staring at each other for a good while. 

The self pity Shuhrat felt was still there, but he understood her intentions. Mei Lin clearly cared, it was almost foreign to him. Living within the small group of friends he had for so long allowed Shuhrat to recede into his heavily armored shell. But much like her candelas, Mei Lin was a light in the darkness, her own determination to just be friendly and help others. She was his opposite, yet they worked so well together on the field. Maybe it was fate. Their past hurt, with embarrassment and shame building roadblocks. It was going to be hard to break down the barriers his past built up. But with her, Shuhrat felt like he could finally rid himself of the pain. The assault that night from his ex was something that scarred him, and despite scars never truly being healed, they could be covered. She could help him power though. In reply all Shuhrat could do was nod. But that seemed enough for Mei Lin. She closed the distance between them and gave him a soft peck on the lips. More of an alternate way of saying she understood without using any words. “I have to get up now. I think Tina needs her pillow back.” And with that She crawled over his lap before mirroring what she did earlier in the day, disappearing into her own realm. Shuhrat could only stare into the darkness before allowing himself to go to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my hands are swollen after writing this and i really don't have anything quirky to say, so thank you all for reading this, it makes my brain produce happy juice and i hope it does the same for you.


	7. Dry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things are cleared up after a rainstorm forces everyone to take a breather

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait. this chapter is a bit short but i felt as if some things needed to be said.

After the L.A mission Shuhrat found himself hanging around Mei Lin more often. Her inviting attitude made him feel at ease, even when they were surrounded by other operators. Their relationship status was confusing, Mei Lin almost seemed to avoid the topic entirely, maybe based on an underlying feeling of awkwardness or fear for his well being. She was naturally clingy, constantly touching him on the arm and each touch made his skin feel hot. Even when they worked together in training situations the strange tension between them didn’t go away. There was just something attractive about her when she donned her tactical gear and shotgun. One afternoon of training was cut short by a sudden lightning storm, and having heavily armored operators out in the open was seen as an issue. The rain came down hard, and Shuhrat followed Timur into the men’s locker room in order to escape the weather. As Shuhrat stripped off his soaked camo the sniper cornered him, a smile spreading across his face. 

“I feel left out Shuhrat.” He told him in Russian in order to make sure the other operators couldn’t listen in. 

“What do you mean? How am I leaving you out?” Shuhrat replied, clearly not having anything to do with what Timur was instigating. 

“Alexsandr and Maxim told me everything about what happened in California.” 

“About the mission?”

“You know that isn’t what I’m talking about. It’s Yours and Siu’s little date. I’ve noticed that you two are nearly inseparable, so fill me in. What happened?” 

Shuhrat could only roll his eyes as he put on a dry shirt. Timur wasn’t as big as a bully as the others, but he still enjoyed being a pain in the ass every once in a while. If anything, it was just nice hearing another Spetsnaz use Mei Lin’s actual name. 

“That night didn’t go exactly as planned, but she seems to have forgiven me, or I’ve finally become comfortable enough around her.” Timur smiled again, stealing a towel from Shuhrat’s open locker and drying himself off. “Good to hear. The others have a bet going on when you two will finally do it. Just thought I’d let you know.” 

That final response was meant to agitate the other man, and Timur quickly got away before anything happened. Shuhrat gripped his wet gear in a vice, his face heating up with both embarrassment and anger towards the others. Gathering his things he quickly left the room, wanting only a shower and freedom from the other Spetsnaz. As he made his way down the hall he saw Mei Lin leaving the women’s locker room with the giant australian woman. Mei Lin was wearing a shirt that was much too large for her, which gave the illusion it was the only thing she was wearing.

“Thank you Tori, I’ll wash it up and return it to you as soon as possible.” 

The australian laughed “Ay it’s no problem, I don’t need it back anytime soon. Makes you look like a wee lass don’t it?” Another boisterous laugh rose from the woman’s chest as she slapped Mei Lin on the shoulder before heading down the hall. Shuhrat met up with Mei Lin after Tori’s exit, causing the smaller woman to light up. “You got caught in the rain too?” He nodded, glancing at the large  _ Sydney 2000  _ shirt she was wearing. “Yep.” Is all he could muster, moving his gaze up to her wet bangs plastered to her head. 

The two started walking towards the residence area, with both of them hauling their gear with them towards their rooms. The weather must’ve sapped Mei Lin’s energy, as she wasn’t babbling on like she usually did on the long walk to the rooms. Shuhrat didn’t mind the silence, if anything he enjoyed it more with her. He aimlessly followed her to her room before realizing it, and Mei Lin seemed to realize the mix up as well. 

“Do you want something to snack on?” She asked, giving him a reason to come in. Shuhrat nodded and followed her, thinking back on the first time he entered her room. Mei Lin gave him snacks then too. He sat in her office chair and watched her as she grabbed a towel and dried off her hair. 

“I’m exhausted.” She muttered. “This morning Caveria worked us so hard, then this afternoon I did training with Gridlock. Have you met her?” She asked, placing the towel around her neck. 

“I haven’t. She seems nice.” He replied, watching her as she propped herself onto the bed. 

“She is! But I don’t understand half of the things she says. She’s like the S.A.S guys, always using weird lingo for things.” Mei Lin covered her face and layed down, Shuhrat rose from his seat and joined her on the bed, minding himself when sitting down. One finger moved to show Mei Lin’s eye as she watched him, before she sat up herself.

“I saw Timur.” She told him. Causing Shuhrat to look at her with wide eyes. “Did he… talk to you?” 

“Yeah, he stopped me and just said hello, I’ve never actually spoken to him before.”   
  


“He talked to me in the locker room earlier, the Spetsnaz guys have really taken a liking to you.” 

“Oh I know. Alexsandr asked me when we were going to have sex.” 

Shuhrat almost choked on his spit. “When did he say that?” 

Mei Lin laughed “This morning actually, he made some of us breakfast.” The look of utter horror must’ve made Mei Lin laugh even harder as she covered her mouth with her hand. “It’s no big deal, I just brushed it off.” 

“Well he asked because our status as a couple has been a hot debate topic between the others. Timur told me Maxim and Alexsandr had a bet going.” 

Mei Lin’s face fell, the light attitude dropping from the room. “Uh. I guess they have a good reason to be confused. I was meaning to talk to you about it.”

The pause between her waiting for a response was deafening. Shuhrat didn’t reply, he just looked at her, waiting for her to begin talking about ‘it’. “I don’t know how to describe our relationship, what happened in L.A was important but right now I feel like we’re just… in limbo.” 

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean, to me it doesn’t feel like dating. Shuhrat I’m almost 40, dating has become something of a taboo to me.” 

Shuhrat turned his entire body towards her, making sure to give an intense look. “We’re the same age Mei Lin. And trust me, I get it. After what happened with my ex, I feel the same way, but -”

She cut him off, clearly caught off guard by his statement “But?”

“I have an actual physical attraction to you and I see no reason to keep acting like we’re innocent little teenagers. You’re helping me become better.” 

He held her shoulders and sighed, looking down at her bedspread as if what he said was too much. Shuhrat could almost feel Mei Lin’s smile as she freed herself and brought his head in for a hug. He was now nestled in her chest, smelling the rain and cotton of the borrowed shirt she wore.

“I’m really happy to hear that actually. I’ve felt the same way for a while. And it’s almost like L.A was the catalyst.” 

He nodded into her chest, releasing himself from her grip and looking her in the eyes again. “You’re better than I am at stuff like this.” He told her. Coaxing another laugh from Mei Lin. The atmosphere in the room became light again, but their fatigue caused a lag in their movements. Mei Lin rose from her bed and handed Shuhrat a packet of crisps, giving him the signal to get out so she could take a shower and nap. He rose as well, taking the gift along with the rest of his gear. Before the final goodbye Shuhrat leaned forward in order to give Mei Lin a soft peck on the lips, which she returned. As he made his way into the hall she called after him. “Tell the guys that they need to stop gossiping like old women!” Shuhrat chuckled and nodded before leaving the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will the next chapter be the last? will i finish this before i go back to college? who knows


	8. Hostage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ying plays hostage for a day and it doesn't go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update. I started my second year of college! and posted smut for the first time.
> 
> also added line breaks bc it looks nice.

  
  


“Can you please, please, please do me a favor?” Grace asked as she stood outside of the gym, bowing her head to the smaller woman standing in front of her. Mei Lin could only comply, placing her hands on the other woman’s shoulders. “What do you need?” Grace rose and made an awkward face, her lips curling into a strange frown. “This is awkward. But can you be a hostage?” 

Mei Lin blinked

“Thatcher’s niece was supposed to be our hostage today but she skipped out. I know this is awkward. Please Mei Lin. For me?” In her best impression of a kicked puppy Grace stared at Mei Lin while also blocking her exit from the gym. She wouldn’t be able to leave without giving an answer.

“What should I wear?” Mei Lin replied, which caused Grace to scoop her into a tight hug. “Wear whatever is comfortable, I want to introduce you to the group before we start. Ash was freaking out about not having a hostage but I think seeing you will make her happy.” 

“Well I’m glad, but why did you seek me out specifically?”

“Because you’re small! Go get changed, I’ll wait for you.”

Mei Lin felt as if a ton of bricks hit her when Grace gave her reason. She was small, but her stature was something that never stopped her. It was embarrassing whenever someone on Rainbow pointed it out, and now that she was acting as a hostage in front of recruits they’d see her as weak. As she put her sweatpants on the image of herself tied up and gagged made her frown. Hostage missions were her specialty, and she was frequently asked to go on them. But now she was the hostage, begging for a savior while being completely useless. Turning Grace down wasn’t within her abilities, she was just too nice. Mei Lin pulled her shirt over her head and opted to leave her things before she faced Grace again. As she exited the locker room Grace put her phone down and smiled, offering her hand to the smaller woman. “Let’s go meet everybody.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


Shuhrat stood in the mess hall with Timur, the two men watching Recruits eat alongside each other while talking loudly. Eliza stood on the side, she was moderating the training today alongside Grace. Timur suggested they watch the spectacle, since there was nothing better to do. The two men watched as Grace entered with Mei Lin, which caused Shuhrat to do a double take. She was clearly nervous, but her strained smile still fooled everyone around her. 

“Everybody say hello to Ying, she’s our hostage for the day.” Eliza said, motioning towards Mei Lin as a chorus of hellos rang from the recruits. Shuhrat felt like he had been punched in the gut. Why would she be a hostage? Who forced her? By her body language he could tell she didn’t want to be there, but nobody else seemed to notice. Timur was even surprised, glancing over to Shuhrat with a confused expression. Across the room Grace noticed the men and walked over “You two look confused.” She said, crossing her arms. 

“Why did you pick Mei Lin?” Shuhrat immediately asked, not even trying to hide his annoyed tone. 

“She matches the hostage that skipped out on us. Are you worried about your girlfriend?” 

“Yes.”

Grace’s eyes widened, before a smug smile spread across her face. “Cute. Well, if you guys want to watch you’re free to join Eliza and I in the surveillance van. Then you can watch it all pan out.” Timur raised an eyebrow. “We were planning on watching from outside anyway. I’d be up for it.” Shuhrat could only nod in agreement, “I’ll join if you let me bring a pistol and my shield.” 

Now it was Grace’s turn to give a confused look. “Why.” She said rather than asked. “Just in case. He replied, which caused Grace to shrug. “I’m sure Eliza wouldn’t mind. Hang around for a bit before we get started, you two can help us get set up.” With that Grace waved and returned to the group. Shuhrat took a long sip of his tea and glared at the group of recruits. “This is going to go bad isn’t it?” Timur asked in Russian. Shuhrat nodded, he wasn’t going to let a bunch of idiots manhandle Mei Lin for half a day.

  
  


* * *

Mei Lin cringed as her wrists were being bound in duct tape by Ash, who donned her sunglasses and FBI hat on the rare sunny day at Hereford. Because of the glasses it was hard to read Ash’s expression. 

“Too tight?” She asked, ripping the duct tape after Mei Lin’s hands were properly bound. 

“No, it’s fine. Will you do anything else?” She prayed Ash would say no, but the other woman’s frown made her worry. 

“I’m going to blindfold you. It’s so you don’t know where you are. The recruits are going to find you without you calling out, and this is better than gagging. Unless you’d rather be gagged.” 

“No, blindfolding is fine.” Mei Lin immediately felt worried, she was genuinely scared of the blindfold, but understood the reasoning behind it. In a very unceremonious act, Ash blinded her, tying the blindfold in the back with a bow, just as a personal touch.

Mei Lin swayed as Ash led her somewhere by the arm. “Alright men. Here is your hostage. Protect her as well as you can, if you fail you’ll be penalized. There will be 4 rounds. Two defending and two attacking. If there is a tie you will stay on the last team and attempt to break the tie. I will be watching. Keep your earpieces on and remember to communicate.” Ash’s voice took a very serious tone, she was in military mode. Mei Lin remembered being taught by Ash back in Tel Aviv, and remembered how scary she could be. 

“Defenders! Here’s the hostage. 5 minutes to place her somewhere and a minute of setup. Attackers! During the minute of set up you are going to drone the building in order to look for the hostage. Got it?” 

The recruits all agreed, and Mei Lin felt her stomach drop as she was passed onto someone in gloves. “How are you?” The recruit asked as he led her into the building. “I’m fine. As fine as a hostage can be.” Mei Lin replied, coaxing a chuckle out of the recruit. She noticed how gentle the man was, lightly pulling her along to make sure she didn’t trip. “Alright Ma’am, we’re going up some stairs, mind if I pick you up?” Mei Lin just nodded, not really knowing what to say. She felt his arm wrap around her and lift her up bridal style. Due to her being bound she couldn’t hold on, but Mei Lin still pressed her head up against the recruit’s chest. It was nice knowing she was cared for, at least for a small amount of time. Their walk was over soon enough, and Mei Lin was lightly placed on a table, sitting where her feet couldn’t touch the ground. 

“Hostage is placed. Begin setup.” Someone said, which caused boots to begin stomping around. The room went quiet, and she found herself surrounded by the sounds of walking then silence. The recruits have found themselves hiding spots in other parts of the building. Mei Lin’s stomach dropped, she was alone. The literal worst possible outcome she could imagine. With a soft sigh she began kicking her legs, the only thing she really could do in the situation she found herself in. 

* * *

“I can’t believe they left her alone for the 3rd time.” Shuhrat told Timur, who sat beside him on a lawn chair outside the surveillance van. 

Timur was engrossed in his sketchbook, not really paying attention to Shuhrat’s commentary on the training at hand. “Why don’t you just extract her yourself then?” Timur replied, lazily glancing at the tablet Shuhrat held. With a deep sigh Timur placed his sketchbook down and picked up his rifle and loaded it with dummy rounds. “I’ll help.” In reply Shuhrat shook his head, placing the tablet down and crossing his arms, feeling red hot anger grow behind his ears. 

“Ash won’t let us. This is her training. We can’t mess it up.” The two men sighed and Shuhrat leaned backwards, closing his eyes. He had been watching Mei Lin sit alone for nearly 2 hours, with the recruits treating the training more like an airsoft game than a hostage mission. He had no real experience with hostage extraction due to his reputation, but he was certain saving Mei Lin would be simple. But he wouldn’t ruin training run by Eliza. Even if he was ready to rush in there. In a move that caused both men to jump, the doors of the surveillance van opened with Grace sticking her head out, clearly frustrated by something. “Alright can you two just get her out of there? These idiots aren’t taking anything seriously.” 

Timur glanced at Shuhrat and smiled, silently telling him ‘I told you so.’ The sniper rose from his chair and removed a small pot of oil paint from his pocket, smearing it over his eyes. He then offered it to Shuhrat, who raised an eyebrow. “You’re not wearing your helmet today, wear some warpaint.” Without waiting for a reply Timur began smearing the black and green mixture over the top of Shuhrat’s face, making sure to get his eyes and forehead. As the preparation was complete, the men made their way to the building. 

* * *

Timur kept watch as Shuhrat broke his way into the basement of Hereford. Shuhrat held his shield out in front of him, walking towards the storeroom Mei Lin was being held. When the barricaded door was broken down she immediately perked up, surprised by the sudden noise. “Don’t worry, I’m here to get you out.” Shuhrat told her, walking over to the small woman and helping her off the table she was sitting on. 

“Shuhrat?” Mei Lin asked before he removed her blindfold. When he took the piece of cloth off she looked at him with wide eyes. “You’re not wearing your helmet!” Shuhrat smiled in response, “Glaz helped me with my makeup. Now come on.” He wrapped his shielded arm around her, protecting her from potential threats. They made their way slowly to the exit, but it was clear that there wouldn’t be any opposition. The recruits were too busy playing around then actually focusing on their training. “How are you feeling?” Shuhrat asked quietly. 

“Well I’m doing much better now.” Mei Lin replied as the two finally made their way back to Timur. The sniper helped with ushering Mei Lin out to the courtyard where Eliza and Grace were waiting. In the safety of the courtyard he cut her binds and allowed her to finally stretch comfortably. 

“I’m never doing that again.” Mei Lin told Grace and Eliza, who both made apathetic faces. Eliza reached out and patted Mei Lin’s shoulder. “How can I make it up to you?” She asked. After a moment of thought Mei Lin finally replied 

“Buy me some snacks from the Asian market downtown, I’m sure Grace can tell you what to get.” 

Grace groaned “You and your snacks, don’t you already have a hoard in your room?”

“I used to. But Tze Long decided he wanted to eat all my chips when I went to L.A.”

Eliza just smiled. “I’ll get you some good snacks. Thanks again for this, I’ll make sure to scold those idiots for you. Now go get cleaned up and take a nap.” In reply Mei Lin smiled and turned to the Shuhrat. “Do you want to help me get my stuff from the gym locker room?” 

He only nodded, holding his shield under his arm Shuhrat guided Mei Lin away from the group with a light touch on the small of her back. 

* * *

The gym locker room was quiet as Shuhrat sat and watched Mei Lin gather her clothes. He technically wasn’t allowed to be in there, but she let him in due to it being an inactive part of the day. As he watched her he noticed that the duct tape had rubbed her wrists raw, leaving a large red mark behind. He stood up and held her wrist, causing the smaller woman to glance back at him. “Your wrists.” He muttered, grazing the raw skin with his thumb. 

“Yeah I know. I have some ointment in my room I can use.” She replied, looking back up at him. The air in the room became heavy as Shuhrat lifted her wrist up and placed a soft kiss onto the red skin. 

Mei Lin laughed “I don’t think kissing it will make it heal.” Shuhrat only looked up and raised his hand to cup her cheek, leaning close to her lips. “Well I hope I can make you feel better after what happened today.” He whispered, which in turn made Mei Lin turn bright red. 

She could only nod as their lips met and Shuhrat pinned her against the lockers. As the kiss got more heated Mei Lin found herself having to come up for air, panting as they separated. The removal of her lips from his gave Shuhrat access to her neck, where he leaned down and attacked the smooth skin. An audible yelp escaped Mei Lin when she felt his calloused hands reach up under her shirt. His hands were cold against her ribs and when Shuhrat finally detached himself from her neck she could sense something was up. They took a small moment to breathe, she glanced down at his obvious erection in his jeans, making Mei Lin hyper-aware of his manhood. Shuhrat must’ve noticed her looking and dropped to his knees. 

“Are you alright?” She immediately asked, before feeling him forcefully grab her hips. 

“Stay still.” Shuhrat was able to muster before hooking his thumbs under her waistband and pulling her sweatpants down in one swift move. Mei Lin immediately gasped, and she watched as Shuhrat grappled her thighs, pressing his fingers into the soft flesh. All coherent thought between the two seemed to completely leave the room as Shuhrat glanced up at her, as if asking permission. She nodded, the english language escaping her. With small awkward steps she spread her legs a bit in order to provide access for what she assumed was coming. In one more glance up Shuhrat swallowed and used his right hand to feel her warmth. He prodded at her entrance through her briefs, coaxing small noises to escape her as he felt her. After testing the waters he pulled the briefs down, exposing her to him. Mei Lin wasn’t clean shaven, her dark hair hiding what he wanted, but Shuhrat didn’t mind, pressing his nose in the mound and finding her clitoris with his tongue. Something in cantonese was exhaled, and he could feel her tense up after making contact. 

Mei Lin reached down and tangled her fingers in his short hair, which gave Shuhrat the motivation to slide his index finger inside of her. Mei Lin moaned loudly, feeling her knees buckle as he pumped his finger in and out. The feeling of his tongue against her clit and a finger filling her caused Mei Lin to react like a virgin who never felt something like that before. But she was too preoccupied with gasping and twitching to feel embarrassed. 

Shuhrat took her mewling as a good sign, and with each sound and movement she made he felt his own erection throbbing against his thigh. But Mei Lin was the focus now, she had a bad day and he was going to make it better. Which seemed to be working. When he felt her grip tighten Shuhrat took it as a sign to press another finger inside her, which gave immediate results. Her entire body shook in orgasm, and Shuhrat removed his mouth from her and glanced up, watching as her face scrunched up in a silent scream. After a few smaller tremors Shuhrat removed his fingers and stood up, supporting Mei Lin’s weight. Her arms snaked around his stomach gripping the back of his shirt. He embraced her as well, noting that her left leg was still shaking. With her head pressed into his chest he felt her speak, saying something in Cantonese. 

“What is it?” He asked, petting the back of her head and allowing the small woman to get her bearings.

“Let me return the favor.” She said, words being muffled by his shirt.

With an awkward laugh Shuhrat shook his head, “I don’t think I’m ready. This was for you.” 

Mei Lin looked up at him, two dark eyes meeting his own. She seemed to understand, straightening herself up and giving him a tight hug. “Just tell me when you are.” She mumbled, surprised by her bravery. A more genuine chuckle escaped Shuhrat as he brushed her bangs aside and pressed his lips to her forehead, lingering for a few seconds. 

“Now help me get the rest of my clothes so we can go eat something.”

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is going to be another chapter. that is all i know.


End file.
